Mourning the Death of California

This is just too good

LOS ANGELES – Millions of fans from around the globe gathered along Sunset Boulevard to pay final respects to California today, as a slow moving funeral procession transported the eccentric superstar state’s remains to its final resting place in a Winchell’s Donuts dumpster in Van Nuys. The self-proclaimed ‘King of Pop Culture’ died last week at 160, in what coroners ruled an accidental case of financial autoerotic asphyxiation. The death sent shock waves across the world and sparked an outpouring of grief by rabid fans.

It just gets better from there

I found this on Big Hollywood the other day.  The author is Iowahawk.  Go read the whole thing!

As an expatriated Kalifornian, I have to say that part of me is sad because of the current position, another part is happy that it’s about to hit rock bottom, and a third part is just pointing and laughing hard enough to fall over.

It all comes down to somthing the owner of the Chevy dealership I worked at said when actually working deals at the sales desk one time.  He was getting awfully frustrated with a stream of customers whose credit defied description.  They were bad.  Really bad.  If their credit were a parachute, it would be made of lead.

BAD.

To paraphrase (it’s been seven or eight years) Mr. Matt Menotti of C&M Chevrolet, “It’s real simple – don’t spend more than you make.”

Kali’s been guilty of overspending for as long as I can remember.  It’s worse than the credit criminals at the dealership.  If the Kali state government were an individual, they’d spend their last dollar on a “cool” pair of shades or something – they just don’t know how not to spend.

Maybe this could be a turning point.  Maybe the state can be saved.  Maybe I can in good conscience go home again.

Of course, I’ve got another plan that might work

Possible California Division Lines?

My plan would work something like this – See those red l ines in the above picture?  Those lines would divide the portions that Nevada and Arizona would get.  That’s right, choose the line that works for Nevada and Arizona and let Nevada have the area that was formerly California to the north of the chosen line while Arizona would get the southern portion.

I chose the locations on those lines based on existing borders.  One line extends west from the junction of California, Arizona, and Nevada while the other extends west from the Nevada / California state line from a point where the Arizona state line would be if it ran through Nevada.  I’m open to options here – make up your own line if you want.  Maybe give some to Oregon?